really random ramblings

life was so much easier when I knew you, but didn't really know you at all.
I didn't know you personally, just what i was told, usually from LR (no, not Listening-Rhetoric), who thought we were a perfect match from the beginning. It was easier back then to imagine you as whoever i wanted you to be. I didn't know you. But I did know you. I knew what subject(s) you liked, who your friends were, and I heard things about you. And then I got to know you. Personally, that is. We talked, I got to know more about you. But you don't know anything about me. It was easier back then to imagine something (us) that would never exist because we had never even talked to each other. But now, it's even harder to imagine us because we do talk to each other. I notice things that you want me not to notice. I know who you like, and i want to imagine one of those girls is me. But you don't know about me. Apparently, you think I think you're a threat, which is why I talk to you. Wow, you couldn't be further from the truth. If you had talked to me tonight, I would have told you: "I argue with people for 4 reasons: 1. I really really don't like them. 2. I really really do like them. 3. i feel like it and 4. the person is challenging me and i need to defend myself." Guess which one it is with you. I'm surprised, actually. We had a conversation a few weeks ago (and after which, I noticed WAY more about you.) You tried to guess who I liked, and I all but told you. And now you don't know, even though I made it painfully obvious to you. Maybe you don't want to accept it? I'm not really sure. Maybe I'm misreading the signs, but when we talk, you listen. When our eyes meet it's like we know what the other is saying. Maybe i'm just hallucinating like a friend said. But then you go and do something else that makes me wonder. I see the way you look at the others. Do they see the way you look at me? Are they the same looks? Doubtful. Wow, it's only the second week of school. It feels like we've been here forever, going through the same routine again and again and again. It's only been 2 weeks. When I said shoot me now, I didn't mean literally. As much as the first two days of school sucked, I'm actually excited to see where the rest of the year will take us and me personally.
I'm probably going to really regret posting this in the morning, but i'm tired now and my judgement is impaired. Oh well, I can always delete if necessary XP