drama

i spent my free time today
looking up dramatic scripts
nothing humorous, i wasn't in the mood
i wanted dramatic, something that could make me cry
i found a really good one
actually, a few
but i would never be allowed to buy them
i don't think my duo is going to work out
we spent $30 buying scripts
but i found this great one for a guy and a girl online today
like AMAZING script and it would be perfect
but oh well, i can't really do much
i reconnected with a friend from s&d camp last year
we barely knew each other
but speech and debate brought us so much closer
its a funny thing speech and debate
and i'm really really happy i joined
we're kind of like a family
i mean we are all so close...to me it IS a second family
i want to throw myself into speech and debate this year
i want to be the best i can be
which means getting my sorry ass off of the computer 24/7
and it means i need to stop wallowing in self pity
which is harder than it sounds
i hate where i am socially right now
but if i immerse myself in something, then i can improve
and maybe redeem myself
i can't believe i was looking forward to summer
so far, summer has sucked.
i hope it gets better
and if not then i always have camp to look foward to in august
and to that mysterious person who commented before, can i know who you are? pleeease? :)
i had a nice convo with 'the person' today...
they sorta was the one to make me realize i needa get over it because it IS stupid
i hope i get to talk to them more soon
yeah it still hurts, and i hate being excluded more than anything
but if that's how they wanna go, then i guess i can (sorta) deal with it
i'm almost ashamed of these posts
i know i'll delete them eventually
but i think im almost desperate for someone to read the posts and try to make me feel better