is it realy only december 30th?

so i was gonna write december 29th
but then i realized it was 115 in the morning so technically it's the 30th
heather needs to go to bed
i really don't have anything deep to write
other than the fact taht i'm a psycho and heather's insane and jeremy's crazy
but yeah other than that
let's see
float decorating was fun
glue sucks i hate it so much
and trees
i hate trees
creeper is still creeper...just kinda more so now...like it's weird cuz i think i told you that we 'broke-up' which was basically me telling him to go get a life
yeah well now that that happened it's more weird now cuz we're kinda in that place wehre i hate him but he's still attached to me
whcih is SO weird
on top of that
i've lied and told him i have a boyfriend
which is like intersting
whcih i would write more about why that's interesting if heather weren't lying here on the floor right next to me
and she kinda knows what i'm talking about
so it would be weird :)
see the point of this is that no one REALLY knows what i'm talking about
so maybe in a later blog...we'll see :)
anyway...movies tomorrow...with the boys
that should be fun...we'll see how that's gonna turn out...should be...fun to say the least :D
either way i'm excited ;) i know more than heather thinks she does...i'll post tomorrow if the 'plan' works ;D
anyway enough torturing poor heather the more i talk about the plan the more she wants to know
so that's all for now
wish us luck ;)

my christmas list

i don't celebrate christmas (as you probably all know...)
but i do love making lists, and so i decided that i'd make a list of everything i did on christmas
1. nothing
i was taught that lists had to have at least 3 things on them...
that was a short list huh?
yeah my christmas was kinda boring...but that's only to be expected...i was expecting to be a typical jew and go eat chinese and watch a movie...neither of those happened...a break from the traditional
i really don't know why i didn't do this sooner...this is the biggest waste of my time EVER!!! :)
anyway, i do like making lists...so what should i make a list about now?
how about...things i'm really really bad at?
1. nothing
okay that's kinda getting old i actually need to make a real list...
i already did new year's rez i think last year?
(did i even have blogger last year?)
wow i've never actually been STUCK before on a list...
okay my christmas list is going to be about...
okay here's what i'm going to do...each new song playing on my iTunes at the time (it's on shuffle) i'm going to take...and write about...until i get bored...how it applied to my life in 2009 (can be a person, event, or basically anything else) sound like a plan? i kinda like it :)
1. Falling Slowly-The Frames--"I don't know you but i want you..." that's kind of how i felt with person #1 (btw you will never read this, but I'm way over you :D) that's a good feeling. i really didn't know you very well...but i felt like i did and i wanted you to realize that and i don't know...ask me to be your girlfriend? that sounds stupid, but hey...a girl can dream :) i honestly don't know why i liked you, maybe i just liked the idea of you...but i'm moving on...actually already have...you're a cool person, just not the right person for me...
2. "Only Hope" -Mandy Moore (Walk to Remember) hehe I love this song! this song is really talking about a support person..and i know it's a support person (like boyfriend...) but this year my family has really been my support system...and though we get into fights sometimes and stuff, i still love them unconditionally (just like i love this song!) ((okay so the link here was kinda iffy...but still...i tried right?))
3. Just Dance-Lady GaGa--So I'm not really sure what this applies to either...but i know what i think about...dancing...which i'm really kind of afraid of...well not dancing itself but the concept...like at winter formal...i'm not really much of a dancer, what if that's like..it? and i have NEVER slow danced ever...take that back i did once in australia when i was in like 7th grade...but that doesn't mean i can slow dance...or dance at all..when i think of dancing it's like a bunch of people hopping around on a dance floor..and i can NOT do that in heels...maybe i can but still...i'm kinda nervous for that..but the night as a whole should be fun...i hope :)
4. "First Date"- Blink 182--wow. so i noticed that about 1/2 of my songs are love songs. is that bad? i don't think so, but sometimes when i'm wishing for a 'boyfriend' listening to music can have tragic consequences. I'd love to go on a 'first date' with you...no names mentioned...but that would be fun..i know we would have an awesome time and yeah...oh well i'm pretty sure that will never happen...but you'll never read this either so yeah...
5. Welcome- Brother Bear (that cute little cartoon about the bear HAHA) okay so this is one of my favorite songs...got such a good beat and the lyrics are good too..." welcome to our family time...welcome to our brotherly time..." it's a happy song and that's what i'm trying to be now...happy happy happy! (i probably should have written about my family in this one...oh well) just thinking happy thoughts right now listening to this song :D (i also realized while doing this that this could take awhile HAHA)
6. American Idiot-Green Day--this song fits so well into my life right now. sometimes i feel like such an idiot...more like jerk...but same thing right? anyway...sometimes i say things that i don't necessarily mean and recently i hurt a friend (that yes, had a major crush on me...) and he's reeeeally hurt right now...i feel so bad, but nothing i do will make the situation better..i mean i get that i basically told him off...and i feel like a total idiot (but on the bright side...he's gone...?)
7. "Never Say Never" The Fray--this is like the motto of my life...because never say it can't get any worse (JKS!) sometimes miracles happen...and SO many miracles have happened in my life that i can never say never...i probably wouldn't be here typing to you now...whoever 'you' is...which is probably no one...or is it? o.O sorry i have like 4 minutes of song to waste here :) anyway...miracles tend to happen saving my life (and my family's) but never in teh smaller things in life...love? yeah not so much...saving my pets lives? yeah not so much....but never say never...there's a first for everything
8. Walking on Sunshine-Aly&AJ--okay so first of all idk why i have this...honestly i don't...though it's got a catchy tune ;) but anyway this goes along witht he whole...think happy thoughts...i have this happiness bubble that NO one is going to pop...lots of not so good things have been going on so thinking happy thoughts is good...happy happy happy and this is a VERY happy song (almost too happy...if that's even possible...)
9. "Andante et Scherzo" Mary Palchak--okay so classical music...i'm not ashamed to admit i have a LOT of it in my itunes library right now. what i AM ashamed to admit is that i let one little flute failure dictate my playing...i barely even take private lessons right now. i almost NEVER practice...and that is something i AM going to change in 2010 for SURE!!! i have to i will...you out there reading this...make sure i do!
10. "Whyyawannabringmedown" Kelly Clarkson--so i really like this song...because uhm i mentioned it with american idiot (sorry idr the number and i'm not going to look for your convenience lols) anyway whenever i thought about you it was like CREEPER or like OMG GO AWAY STOPP ANNOYING ME but now it's not...so you aren't bringing me down anymore...gosh i really hope you don't decide to read this HAHA but i know you won't cuz you're kinda not that technicologically advanced (yeah that's not a word but oh well)
11. (should i keep going? i kinda like this...i'm not so bored anymore...) "You and Me" Lifehouse--enough with the love songs already! i'm starting to think they are ALL love songs! but i like this song a lot (as do i all my other songs...well...most of them...) anyway, i'll write about a friend...this song i don't think realy applies (idk not really listening per se) but as soon as she and this other guy get together...they'll be very cute...maybe...until she dumps him after w.f. (maybe) either way...i'm not really sure where i'm going with this...so moving on...
12. "TiK ToK" Ke$ha (i think)--uhm let's see...i bought this after i spent the night with my beeeeestie! (even though according to her 'bf' she hates me...but whatever...XD) <3 (remember i said no names...but you know who you are :D) anyway she really likes this song and we listened to it for hours...you are aaaaaamazing!!! but you already know that! oops new song! haha
13. "Thank you for being a friend" Andrew Gold--so i bought this song for the golf montage and didn't end up using it...but i kinda like it...so this is a shoutout to all my friend! you are all very amazing!!! some of you more than others (haha just kidding!) this year i really figured out who my friends are and i love them all!!!
14. 100 Years-Five for Fighting--this is a really good song! (but i think that's what i 've said about...every song? haha) so this is kinda just turning into songs and random reflections...so it woudl be very cool to live to be 100 yrs. old...my great aunt turned 100 this year i think...or maybe it was last year? anyway...i feel like i'm growing up too fast...i wish i could go back to the elementary school years and do things differently! or at least junior high! wow if i knew how my life would turn out...i don't know actually if i would do it differently...i've got a good life now :) and also...100 years isn't that long in the scheme of things...so gotta live each day as if it were your last :)
15. "Ordinary Day" Vanessa Carlton--that's what today was...an ordinary day...first day this break actually i think that i haven't done SOMETHING...but that's okay it's nice every once in awhile to have a day and do nothing...relaxing and boring...just how i like it. just kidding. but yeah today was fine i guess...night always makes everything more intersting...HAHA
so i think i'm going to stop...been doing this for...about an hr and 1/2 (with stops between songs..)
maybe another list sometime soon?
merry almost end of x-mas to all my non-jewish friends :)
and to all my jewish friends...have fun eating chinese :D

...?

i'm confused
i keep getting mixed signs
what should i believe?

friday the 13th :)

hello blogger
it's been like 2 months or so XD
i felt like posting something on friday, november 13th amazing
so october was a crazy month
i won't go into everything
cuz honestly, no one cares and teh people that do care either already know or don't read this blog HAHA
november is almost over! omg! well like 1/2 way but one more week till thanksgiving
and then a week off
then 3 weeks
then 2 weeks off
it's crazy! then it'l be january! wow!
you know, lately, i've been so busy i haven't had time to reflect on anything
i had a really nice time this evening talking to someone, which is surprising. we sorta video chatted (sorta) and played a game (or two) and it was just overall really nice.
debate. have to win cowan debate tomorrow. need to preserve a little shred of my dignity XD
anyway, it's not that late but i'm kinda tired
busy weekend...band show, luncheon, brother's eagle project
plus hw
and other stuff :)
so yeah that's my friday the 13 post
i hope my books get here soon xD

one month update

i haven't blogged in awhile
we've been in school for exactly 4 weeks
and it sucks just as much as it did on the first day
apush is gonna be BAD...cowan...omgosh
you know, i really don't have much to say about school actually
i reconnected with an old jewish friend today...it was nice to catch up with him and talk to another jew :)
and tomorrow (wait...today) i'm reconnecting with a friend from elementary school...we are going to the angels game! (watch teh angels clinch the division!)
fasting kinda sucks...i should go to bed and ease the hunger, but i probably wont go to sleep for a few more minutes at least...not that anyone cares
i always read these profound, interesting, philosophical blogs
yeah, my blogs aren't like that...maybe becaues i write them at like extremely late hours...maybe because i'm just not that kind of a thinker/writer...
either way...i really like my hate letter :)
enough said :D

really random ramblings

life was so much easier when I knew you, but didn't really know you at all.
I didn't know you personally, just what i was told, usually from LR (no, not Listening-Rhetoric), who thought we were a perfect match from the beginning. It was easier back then to imagine you as whoever i wanted you to be. I didn't know you. But I did know you. I knew what subject(s) you liked, who your friends were, and I heard things about you. And then I got to know you. Personally, that is. We talked, I got to know more about you. But you don't know anything about me. It was easier back then to imagine something (us) that would never exist because we had never even talked to each other. But now, it's even harder to imagine us because we do talk to each other. I notice things that you want me not to notice. I know who you like, and i want to imagine one of those girls is me. But you don't know about me. Apparently, you think I think you're a threat, which is why I talk to you. Wow, you couldn't be further from the truth. If you had talked to me tonight, I would have told you: "I argue with people for 4 reasons: 1. I really really don't like them. 2. I really really do like them. 3. i feel like it and 4. the person is challenging me and i need to defend myself." Guess which one it is with you. I'm surprised, actually. We had a conversation a few weeks ago (and after which, I noticed WAY more about you.) You tried to guess who I liked, and I all but told you. And now you don't know, even though I made it painfully obvious to you. Maybe you don't want to accept it? I'm not really sure. Maybe I'm misreading the signs, but when we talk, you listen. When our eyes meet it's like we know what the other is saying. Maybe i'm just hallucinating like a friend said. But then you go and do something else that makes me wonder. I see the way you look at the others. Do they see the way you look at me? Are they the same looks? Doubtful. Wow, it's only the second week of school. It feels like we've been here forever, going through the same routine again and again and again. It's only been 2 weeks. When I said shoot me now, I didn't mean literally. As much as the first two days of school sucked, I'm actually excited to see where the rest of the year will take us and me personally.
I'm probably going to really regret posting this in the morning, but i'm tired now and my judgement is impaired. Oh well, I can always delete if necessary XP

hw

in two meanings of the word
the first: i had none tonight, but tomorrow i'm gonna be SWAMPED, maybe enough to stop me from watching glee/sytycd, or maybe i'll watch them and do hw later XD
the second: christine is retarded, but that's okay XP, apush tomorrow, s&d afterschool, maybe sometime else during the day, we'll see ;)
it's late i should sleep...thinking about...hw :P

3rd day of school

was finally a good enough to some extent of a day
the first two days sucked
seriously there was nothing good going on, i'd rather not go into details,something i'd rather forget
today wasn't a perfect day either
no day can be perfect with cowan as a teacher
seriously he makes me mad, but that is not the point
((some non-verbal, mind-reading esque stuff going on in 5th though with someone haha...it was funny whenever cowan would say something stupid, we would look at each other and just be like 'shoot me now'))
i got to relax and hang out with mrs. spencer after during 7th period, help her do some stuff, vent some feelings, get some things clarified, etc. :)
i hung out at school until 330, making me WAY late for golf...oops.
i showed up at 350, and practice ended at 4 HAHA, oh well...match is tomorrow, so that'l be fun/exciting i hope :)
and then bingo
oh bingo
i was so tired by that point
that i was just kinda like...you guys do the work and let me sleep
i felt bad but whatever :)
and i got home at 1030 and now i'm finally possibly maybe going to attempt to do hw...maybe...
what hw do i have? printing something out for english, studying for lively art of writing test, studying for medical vocab test, what else? i can't really think of anything
hmmmmm...oh well...i'm kinda hungry and tired
sadness :(

i have't blogged in a REALLY long time

summer's over...literally in less than 30 hours i'll be in school, suffering all over again
and yet there's a certain excitement about the first day, MAYBE the first week (but that's highly doubtful)
seeing who's in my classes, meeting teachers, all that great fun stuff that only lasts for...
a day.
i guess i am excited for everytihng to start up again...speech and debate, flute, symphony, golf, softball (which i mght not do, but we'll see),
and starting new things...horseback riding, not procrastinatin (we'll see how long that lasts)
and forming new relationships with people that i wasn't that close to last year ;)
everyone says junior year is the hardest year of them all. i don't doubt that. i have 4 aps along with anatomy (which seems super hard) and a ton of extracurriculars on top of needing to find some volunteer hours somewhere.
but at the same time it seems like the funnest so far. prom. winterformal. getting out early EVERY day. driving.
but then it goes back to the work. morrissey posted assignments for the first few weeks of school. i can already tell her class is going to be bad. sad. (make people) mad. (especially those little) lad(s). (who will think its just another) fad. hehe okay i'm done
school. with it comes all the ups and downs. i wonder how this year will end. it's literally the beginning. nine whole months of the same routine. here we go again.

catching up with old friends :)

i love talking to friends i haven't talked to in forever
a.l. helped me put the golf problem into perspective
it's still somethign that's weighing heavily on my mind and i'm still not sure if i wanna continue or quit
i hate quitting but if i'm really not going to be happy, i'm going to do what i have to do
idk i just feel threatened by the prospect of a) not being captain next year b) not being top 5? c) being alone
c is my biggest issue and becaues of that i love noor even more because without her i would have quit a long time ago
and then i talked to laura r. tonight. hehe boys :D
even though they're stupid and whatever, sometimes its good to just be a girl and break down :)
anyway, i'm excited for teh mock tourney tomorrow, even though me and kristen spent 4 hours doing debate stuff and not accomplishing much xD
oh well tomorrow will be INTERESTING for SURE!!! i hope i getta go watch steffi :D
anyway, it's late and it's time for me to sleep cuz i have to wake up at 545!!!

home at last

i'm home
and i'm not sure how to feel about that
i guess it was good to come home see my parents and brother and dog and grandparents and uncles and all
but at the same time i miss camp...it was soooo fun
espeically towards the end
so i flew home yesterday for the first time by myself
it was exciting and somewhat uneventful
alena, jeff, david and i were all flying american so we all checked in together
alena and jeff went to one end of the self-checkin booths and david and i were next to each other at the other
apparently you needed a credit card to pay $15 to check the bag, so good thing i had the debit card with me
david didn't have one, so we spent like 20 min waiting for someone to come help us before we finally decided just to go ask someone else, (at this point he had like 15 min till his flight left)
once he paid and we got to security we had a good 5 minutes left
we got to his terminal and everyone was like WHERE WERE YOU? it was great
haha
but at the same time i'm sad i didn't bond with alena and david more, we bonded at the AIRPORT! and now i'm probably never gonna see them again. unless we go to like iowa next year or something...who knows :)
i can't wait to see my CPS girls eventually too, and we're going to plan a tim and mike plus 16 reunion sometime soon too! maybe over winter break :)
that's exciting
but now it's like 230 or so in the morning and i should probably sleep xD

last day of camp

i'm sad to be leaving
i'm nervous to go home for a few reasons
but at the same time,
i'm excited that i'm going home
i learned SO MUCH here, about debate, people, friends etc.
i made a ton of new friends (yay for nat circuit tourneys!)
i got excited about debate again
and i wonder if my mom will let me do some travelling for debate (though i doubt it :()just being exposed to some nat circuit debate will make me better, get me more points, etc. i would love to go to some out of state tourneys, and if not then at least some more in-state CA tourneys!
i'm going to miss everyone here! especially tim and mike. they were AWESOME lab leaders...the best here in my opinion! and of course i'll miss the CPS girls--sarah, paige, may, and virginia--super awesome people that were my closest friends the last week of camp! yoshi, my roommate, nottoo much to say about her =/
katie bauer--hope you're doing good and that i talk to you soon
david bruns-smith--i really just met you a few days ago...never really talked to you, but i'm glad i did :)
everyone else at camp too...thanks for making it such a great experience and i hope i see you sometime at some tournament somewhere :)

i'm tired

today was good though
lets see, woke up too late to go to breakfast
jamba juice for breakfast with pagie and ginny
then lecture which i didn't pay attention to at ALL
and then lunch
elective (SCRABBLE!!!)
lab (lame)
lecture (actually surprisingly fun, all about economics and game theory so we gotta play games! :D)
then dinner where the IE'ers gave us a show--they were REALLY GOOD!!!
then the CPS girls and i tried to get in trouble--we climbed a tree, tried to break into super camp, then broke into the guys football dorms next door
came back, didn't really do too much, helped david research for the demo debate tomorrow which will be crazy good!
i'm really sad that today's the next to last day...it IS really sad
oh yeah i got a ton of candy from my aunt in the mail today! THANKS AUNT DEBBIE and uncle ned!!! <3
wow its already 2:15...great
i'm getting 3 hours of sleep! whoohoo!!!
maybe less depending on how late i stay up
OH YEAH!!! I TALKED TO HEATHER TODAY! but not for very long :( but i'll tty her more later!!! i missed her mucho while she was gone but now she's back in the world of teh living
and lets see..i have weird bruises on the back of my left hand...totally bizarre...oh yeah i worked on some stuff for the mock tourney on saturday...taht should be thrilling yay -_-
though, i'm actually looking forward to it
at first, i hated stanford
but it really showed me how much i love debate
like a lot
and i'm really really glad i came :)
i wanna go to iowa next year! that'll be awesome! :D

away and home

i love being away from home
it's one of the greatest feelings ever, no parents, no duties, no nothing!
but at teh same time, i've been away from home for almsot 2 weeks now and idk, i kinda feel like my life at home is going to be radically changed in the 3 weeks ive been away
first of all: golf...the whole team bonding thing...i'm not quite sure hwo i feel about that at the moment, i mean yeah sure it's great fun to get to go out to eat and play minigolf, but i'm pretty sure 90% of the team hates me and if they don't hate me, i'm pretty sure they'll soon start
brings up my 2nd argument (sorry still in debate mode) kelly left. okay i will admit i'm not 100% sad about this. i hate people being better than me at stuff. BUT! i was willing to sacrifice a little because with her it meant we might have a chance at actually not being dead last this year
and my last argument is: i'm a little nervous going into the season. it's teh first time i'm 100% alone. like truly alone except for the few matches noor and juwon go to. and i'm sad. i miss megan and i miss having people that actually listen to me. they wanted to vote for captain, meaning of course i wouldn't be captain next year. which i'd admit, would suck. actually to the point where i would just quit golf. actually i'm really close todoing that this year. idk we'll see but idk i'm not so into it and it's just not fun i guess anymore.
next: debates today!
they were really good i either went 3-1 or 4-0 today so we'll see :) meaning my overall record was either 7-1 or 6-2 whcih is AMAZING considering everyone here is like pretty decent debaters :D
tongiht was fun too...i really like hanging out with paige and sarah and virginia and may they're really fun :D
yoshi was kind of a party pooper though she didn't want to do anything
sam walking around with his shirt off hahaha showing his six pack
lab was crazy...basketball woot! haha
okay i'm like really tired and at least we getta sleep in but i'm still like really tired so i'm going to bed now :)

debates day one

today was one of teh best day's i've had at camp
i faced 2 novice 2 varsity
first round novice with ari as the judge...went kinda badly but i won
second round vs alena...my aff case is awesome lemme tell you...win woohoo!
third round vs. may...my neg case sucks...so she won :) (which i'm totally okay with)
fourth round vs. novice...again with aff it was an awsome round...and the judge was totally cool
lab was friggin hilarious...sarah was pushed over the brink, fire was created in 1945, and sam slept through all his cx time :)
after, i opened the skittles and airheads and hung with may, virginia, paige and sarah
sarah pushed me over the brink and we ended up having a full-out pillow fight that included us throwing skittles at us and running up and down all the floors like crazy women
we have to do a reenactment tomorrow for the camera HAHA
dude it was so fun and friggin hilarious :D
these last couple of days will by far be the best ever!
tim and mike plus 16 lab reunion!!! :D

hm...it's been a couple of days

so...let's see..what's happened since august 5?
katie left on thursday for good
i stayed with her until 330 when she left, and mike and time got pissed cuz i was 2 hours late to lab
but friends are more important than debate
and i debated chris...it was a good debate, no winner so that's good :)
and then yesterday, yoshi and i were late to mike's lecture
i'm sure he thinks really badly of me now cuz on the very first day he said he hated people being late =/
but whatevs, after today there's only 4 more days left!!! WOOHOO!!! that excites me...i can't wait to get home, go rollerblading, horseback riding, s&d, (golf not so much) and all the awesome things i do at home
plus i'm almost done with summer hw...just rhetoric of rhetoric to do and i'm 1/3 of the way done with it! :D
today i have 4 debates, one after breakfast, 2 after lunch, and 1 after dinner
luckily there are 2 different flights in each round...i hope i get first flight for all of them that way i can have mroe free time to work on whatever i want :)
and my OA is coming along nicely...that's what i've been spending most of my free time on instead of working on debate stuff (sad huh considering i'm at debate camp?!?) haha oh wells i can choose how i spend my 'free' time :)
OH YEAH! i got two packages yesterday! one from danny/mike/sunny/gram and the other from megan!!! hehe that just about made my day esp. since i was fighting with yoshi and didn't have katie here XD
but yeah, i'm not looking forward to debating for the entire day today
just like a tournament
but i guess its good prep...get my blood flowing and my mind working since it's been dead the entire summer XD
i should go prep now :P

lie to me

that's the fox show i'm watching right now
it's like REALLY good
and i know i should be going to bed but eh why? XD
today was fun day
we went to great america
went on EVERY ride by let's say 130?
then katie got henna tattoo on her back
so we had to wait like 2 1/2 hours for it to dry...we sat on a bench in the shade for an hour then lay on the grass for an hour
then just kinda got up and walked around
i got REALLY sunburned on my nose
and i'm really tired
but i guess that's my own fault for watching the show :)
uhm...katie might leave teh camp...but i hope not
so i'm going to go to bed now
that was a lame/random blog XD

awesome day!

so today was suppossed to be one of the worst days at camp
i mean, what can get worse than lecture, elective, then lab for the rest of the entire day (6 1/2 hours)
BUT! lab wasn't terrible...i mean sure my debate kinda failed (excuses: team debate sucks. i couldn't understand the arguments my partner wanted me to make. the girl i was debating is my unofficial enemy at camp.) but the criticizm i received was decent (still wish i was in the middle lab though!)
then andrew came and picked me up. we went to this cafe place for dinner where they sat us in the back so they couldn't hear us 'arguing' :D
had french toast with fruit...it was goood! :)
then lets see...oh yeah, we walked around the mall for awhile then went to go see a movie in mountain view
we saw the proposal which was really cute/good!
then we drove back...got back around 930
i'm really really glad i got to spend time with andrew, i never get to see him and he's one of teh only cousin's i ever really talk to (along with teh other andrew :D)
i always have a good time when i go do stuff with him becuase like...we can tease each other and then laugh about it and just like have a good time...carefree...
just plain fun
so i got out of lab for 5 hours, and then i get to have a great time with my cousin...couldn't have been better :)
and tomorrow is fun day
i'm tempted to just sleep in, not shower ;)
and then we go to the amusement park...no debate no nothing
meaning end of week one! woohoo! :D
only 8 more days to go
cannot wait to get home
i know it can't be as bad as i make it sound, but it really does like...make me not want to debate
its sooo intensive and so work-oriented and there is NO fun
except for today and tomorrow
and the rest is work
i might try writing another affirmative case that says something like providing a counterplan idk i've always liked something like that but we'll see :)
but anyway, ive been writing this blog for 40 min cuz i've been super distracted
going to sleep now :)

random blog of random stuff

first of all i am SO glad for the internet
both my roommates are asleep so i have some time to myself (finally!)
so i think this is going to be more of a ranting blog, but we'll see as we go along
first of all, ranting about my roommates
yoshi talks SO MUCH! like not anything important, just TALKING, and it gets annoying after awhile! she's nice don't get me wrong but she TALKS excessively
katie b. is cool i like her alot, but she's got a hot head...and talks to her boyfriend ALL THE TIME (which is understandable...but we'll get back to the dorm after dinner at 6 and she'll be talking to him until like 12 at night...that's a bit excessive don't ya think?)
let's see...for my other friends at debate camp
oh wait that's right...i dont HAVE other friends...there are people i've talked to once or twice, but that doesn't count
all the people i see on a regular basis are SO ANNOYING...this girl alena is one of those 'suck up i know everytihng' types of people...she is ALWAYS answering the questions and just UGH
there are other annoying people too though
and it's sad because we were saying the only real friends we have at the camp our our roommates (there's 3 of us -_-)
i'm tired in case i sound bitchy just figured i'd have an excuse ready ;)
let's talk about debate camp in general
it sucks.
there is SO MUCH WORK it's like school
lecture, elective, lunch, lab, lecture, lab, dinner, office hours
typical day...oh yes, that's great fun
we have free time...yoshi and i get frozen yougurt and bring ti back to the room while katie talks to her bf
that's our typical day...no joke
without internet i'd just about die
no joke there either
i met a guy that goes to saint margaret's...our rival school...he's a junior, really hot/cute, and nice and funny too, but of course he had to hang out with that alena girl...ugh
oh yeah, i got put into the most advanced lab which sucks cuz it means MORE work! like we had to write aff and neg cases in one night...which sucks cuz that includes all the research for it and everything too
and i'm NOT a good debater...so idk why i was put in there...sadly there's nothing i can do to change it...oh well...glad i like my lab leaders though...tim and mike (even though i kinda sorta know mike better) but whatever they're cool and that makes it sorta better
i'm REALLY hoping andrew and i can do something tomorrow...still gotta check with him and the camp director, so we'll see...but that'l save me from the last 2 hour lab period tomorrow and teh pain and torture of debating!
we've been averaging 5 hours of sleep a night, and tonight will be no exception for us...or me at least...yippee
i'm REALLY tired though
so i probably should go
at least one good thing happened today ;)
and oh yeah i shot the moon in hearts while playing during a lecture
and got my high score in tetris while playing during the other lecture ;)

day 2

its 623 right now as i start writing this
we woke up at 545 to shower...which is hard but good because there's absolutely no one awake so we can shower for as long as we want :)
but then we are all really tired
so let's see...yesterday
case writing lecture in the morning which was BORING!
then a short lab time, which was eh not too exciting
lunch we walked to bookstore so katie and yoshi could buy lanyards for their keys
then another lecture about research
then 3 hours of research -_-
but at least i found a lot of good information
then we got pizza for dinner...like 'gourmet' pizza (or not d.c. food)
then i spent a good 3 hours straight working on writing a case for debate
it was a painful process but at least i got it done!
then while katie was talking to her bf and yoshi was finishing her case, i finshed in cold blood hw YAY!
(so now i only have to do rhetoric of rhetoric...ugh!)
we went to bed semi-early...or at least before 12 so that we would get a little bit of sleep before waking up
and as soon as katie is done drying her hair i think i'll go dry mine too
exciting times

first day of LD camp

was interesting
i have a triple, meaning there are 3 of us girls in one room...
one of my roommates' name is katie, she's jewish and a jr
what a coincidence
the other is yoshi (short for some other name i dont remember XD)
she's indian and pretty cool too :)
katie and i were late for our first lecture...1/2 hr late...not even considered fashionably late XD
we were late for EVERYTHING today
like literally EVERYTHING
i got put into teh advanced group
i am going to die
like seriously i better become one heck of a debater after this camp becaues i am going to be putting myself through some grueling time...
not quite sure how much i'm going to like it...seems pretty intense urg
i kinda wanted to come and have a good time and not put in that much work, but i am finding that i have to now
oh well it'l be fun
i need to do some summer hw and write my OA
goal is to finish in cold blood by the end of camp
that leaves me with r of r to do
great -__-
and OA is a PRIORITY!
oh well its nice enough here
i should pry go to sleep cuz we are getting up at 545 to shower and stuff
whoopee
hm what else?
i might decide to write more later tonight depenidng on how late i stay up :)

i am sooo excited for camp
hopefully there's internet services
or else i'll be without internet for 2 weeks =/
and as excited as i am to be going
i'm nervous that being away from golf and s&d for so long is gonna be bad
i can already tell its gonna be bad for golf
i mean voting for a captain? come on now
i mean the COACH picks the captain not the girls
maybe that's just my opinion b/c i know that with this whole voting thing i wouldn't be captain next year, meaning iw ouldn't get to play golf my SENIOR YEAR! how much would that suck?!?!?!
anyway, i had an amazing tour of davis today! just shows me how much i really do wanna be a vet and go to davis and yeah! exciting :)
but its late now, alex is gonna 'rat me out' but whatever i'm gone for two weeks now! YAY!!! haha hoping to get some mail at camp, but if not, hey that's cool too haha im just super excited and i canNOT wait to meet my roommate and all the cool people there ;)

short post

i promise :)
just a few things to throw out there today
1) HAVE A GOOD TRIP HEATHER AND ANGIE!

2) i'm sorta nervous for debate camp...i'm not gonna know anyone there and i'm not that good of a debater...i hope me and my roommate get along! and i hope everything goes smoothly and that i have fun!

3) directed to a special someone: you can now breathe easier at s&d and actually start coming to golf because i won't be there 'hating on you'
(and just for the record i don't hate you...i'm kinda curious as to why you think that)

4) it must be nice to have all the money you could ever need...my aunt/uncle took me shopping today and bought me SO MUCH STUFF! and like it was EXPENSIVE stuff too! just cuz they wanted too...wow

5) have i mentioned yet that i have golf? ;)

6) i really am a little nervous for camp just cuz like idk if it'l be fun or whatever and i hope i become a better debater and i hope i meet some hot guys that i can see at tourneys and i hope i can see my cousin while i'm up there and maybe do something with him :)

that's it for now..i *might* post something before i leave for camp on monday but we'll see...angels game tomorrow! excited for that
anyway, time to either sleep or do some lively art of writing...yippee -_-

it's been an eventful few days plus a few other random thoughts

(i think)
i made it to calc bc...that is def. eventful!!! i was so sure i had failed the challenge exam, but i guess not...passed with flying colors :)
i finished apush hw, literally 5 minutes ago, so i'm happy about that...now only in cold blood, lively art and rhetoric of rhetoric
im going to try to do some of lively art tomorrow...but i'm not so sure how that'l go
i played flute for 2 hrs yesterday (a big feat considering us flute players dont usually have that kind of endurance) but not playing for awhile has made me realize how much i enjoy it and miss it when i don't play
oh yeah, got my haircut today...it looks GOOD!!! i'm happy with it, cept i went to play golf and it got all messed up...it will never look as good as it did when the professional did it :(
went shopping with my mom yesterday too...got a TON of stuff...few pairs of jeans and a lot of shirts :)
wednesday was eventful (sorta-ish) just calc then bingo and i sorta ditched golf cuz it was senior night at bingo
tuesday, s&d...i did nothing and everything ;) but it was REALLY fun and i had a GREAT time
monday was debate and golf...debate was pointless because i'm going to stanford on MONDAY!!! woo! i'm super excited! but golf is always fun even though i don't have too many friends
and now comes the heartfelt, non-event relaying part of the blog
jsut some things that i've been thinking about for some time now
if i could change one thing about the past, i would have made up with alyssa instead of been mean to her...that's one of my main regrets seriuosly i wish i had stayed close with my temple friends...i mean i still sorta talk to moriah and laura but we aren't anywhere as close as we were before...which makes me really really sad
i mean i never hear what's up with them except for what i see on facebook
but i can't change the past, only live int he present, which probably means i won't be close to them...thanks oxford -_-
what else has been on my mind? i kind of want to quit golf...i think one of the only reasons why i stuck it out last year was cuz of megan...and now i have noor, but at the same time i know of at least 3 people on the team who absolutely hate me (they've either told me or told someone else so it's actually true) which kind of saddens me...but if i stick it out...next year i'll be captain..it's also sad that i'm not #2 golfer like i should be...which means if we are last place in league again, i won't be going to league finals which is also very sad
(hehe i pressed publish even though i wasn't done XD)
i'm excited for camp, but i'm sad taht i'm missing 3 weeks of speech and debate AND golf AND bingo...missing out on lots of 'bonding' time which i'm afraid that no one's gonna miss me at
my brother's bluebird project turned out amazing...including the pictures...i'm hoping i can do something with them besides just his project...any ideas?
uhm what else? pandora is amazing
it's late and i should sleep but this is way more fun
sizer's getting married!
my computer is REALLY hot on my legs and my fan is not doing a good job of cooling me off
i'm hungry...i didn't have a real dinner cuz i didn't get home from golfing until 915
i'm going shopping and to lunch at south coast plaza tomorrow...at TEN FORTY FIVE!!! i don't usually wake up that early and especially on a saturday! i have to wake up at 830!!!!!!!!!
i need to learn how to write an OA (which is NOT oxford academy)
oh yeah, i'm also a little sad how i haven't done much stuff with people from school this summer...i saw vicky the other day, but we didn't really talk :( (which is partially my fault :P)
BUT ANYWAY i'ts like 1:59 right now...almost 2 o'clock and i REALLY should go to bed...6 hrs of sleep woohoo! XD

:)

i am going to disneyland
and i am so happy
not just cuz of disneyland but yeah ;)

beach day!

i woke up at 1
went to the beach at 5
couldn't find parking anywhere!
but then i went with judy s. ibrahim annes and eva to mainstreet
with no shoes
and it was super boring
then we came back
and i screwed around with doug's hat
basically the whole night XD
we rolled around in the sand...which sounds weird
but it's really not...he was just trying to get his hat back XD
and kailynne seemed really happy, which was the main point
and there were a ton of people there
it was totally fun
looking for firewood lols
though...i forgot to eat HAHA
drove home
parents got mad cuz i txtd them telling them i was gonna be late
how lame is that?
got my phone taken away
then i got it back
so it didn't realy count as a punishment
but overall today was really really good
finished two books, was gonna start another one but it's kinda late...
and i needa work on stuff so idk :)
i really can't wait for m/t/w ;)

no pain no gain

went golfing
shot bad, but managed to get a par =]
went to LB towncenter after w/ noor
saw transformers 2
it was good but long
got home and realized my elbow/wrist hurt painfully bad
so i'm typing with one hand
excited for the beach tomorrow
need to figure out a gift...hmm...
got di and books in mail today
kinda tired but not really
been awhile since i talked to heather...

indecision

my choices:
LD (i'm going to Stanford for it, so i kinda of have to)
DI (the witness, everyone already said they loved the free 2 page preview)
expos (speech already written)
OA (i have a good topic, and i think it'l be pretty easy to convert to speech)
duo (charlie and the chocolate factory with sherrae?)

how am i going to do it all? they are all major events
like crazyness
huge
major
extreme
i have to pick and cut something
but what?

jap

megan thinks i'm a jap
jewish american princess
why would she think that you might ask?
because i must be the single luckiest girl in the world
my grandfather bought me a brand new 2009 honda civic today
drove it home and its parked inthe garage literally right below me right now
it's my car
a brand new car
and it's mine
forever
(or until i decide to sell it)
but either way...its mine
i'm shocked still...that i actually have a new car...it's crazy...like totally crazy!
i love it! everything about it! the color, the way it drives, the feel of the fabric, the interior, trunk is decent sized...i even like the $400 security system my dad had installed for 'piece of mind' (my dad is funny :D)
i love love love my new car!
and i am SO not a jap! ;)

i broke the law today

ok a super minor law
but still
i drove yerin home...which i'm technically not allowed to do until march
oh well :) she only lived a block away and we were super safe ;)
bingo was fun...and i'm sad i had to leave early
but i'm so happy that daniel and the bingo peeps were able to sell out EVERYTHING! crazy! we've never sold EVERYTHING before, so that's great news!
one more day of calculus this week...ew! then friday is a relaxing day
lately, my posts have been very meaningless
but i guess that's a good thing because i think they only have meaning if i'm in a bad mood
i'm not very deep when i'm happy :) (or satisfied at least)
funny...i think the only people that can see right through me are noor and guadalupe, at least when it comes to this guy
noor saw a post and she immediately asked me if i could be anymore obvious about my 'mad love' hahahaha and it wasn't even that obvious! XD
sad thing is i know he'll never fall for a girl like me
and it sucks knowing that, but it doesn't mean i can't try :)
i guess i'll have hope...but summer sucks cuz i never get to see anyone...and it seems like that when school ends you get close to so many new people that you never see over summer...*sigh* i guess that's life
okay that was me being deep for tonight
i think i'll txt heather...haven't talked to her in forever
*hold on for a sec*
okay back
that was lame
anyway
i have to get up at 730 (or earlier!) tomorrow! it sucks
so i'm going to bed now :)

sweets

today:
wake up, eat, shower, calc hw, bachelorette 1st hr, lunch, bachelorette 2nd hour, calc class, home, cupcakes, new in town, candace, blockbuster, gran torino, bed
good, uneventful, busy day
i like it like that
barely on the computer
even better
i need to start working on summer hw
not motivated but whatever
i'll need to get motivated eventually
oh well
i'm tired, waking up early to do stuff

i lost a follower

not that it matters, just kind of interesting...
maybe if i write a post everyday i'll lose even more ;)
jks XP
i've realized the less time i spend at my computer, the happier i am
even though that's really the only way to talk to that person who i like to talk to, there will be plenty more opportunities to talk to him coming up soon ;)
but not being at my computer lets me do things and not dwell on how sad i am about the stupid white person dance or how bored i am or how i really should do summer homework
i walked my dog today, hung with shannen, went to lunch with my grandfather and uncle, suffered through two hours of math class (which i am going to fail!), dinner at grandparents, walked the dog again, then movie and tutti frutti with my dad!
i was barely home, which was nice
tomorrow i have to do math hw...whcih sucks but whatever
i think i have to get a private tutor for SAT whcih kinda sucks but i guess i'm okay with it...better than elite or whatever taht retarded class that gives you detentions is
i wish love and life was as easy as it is in movies, i mean it seems like girl meets guy, girl falls in love with guy, guy falls in love with girl, girl does something stupid, guy gets upset/breaks up, girl does something right, guy comes back, they both live happily ever after
why can't it be that easy?
sure, some people fall in love instantaneously, but most have to work at their relationships, stupid movies, giving people false hopes
nonetheless, both seven pounds and confessions of a shopaholic were good movies
more to come tomorrow
i love movie week :)
plus, the angels won, moving them up to 2 1/2 in firstp lace in AL West...good news all around!
it's late, i'm tired, still somewhat disappointed, but excited for what lies ahead
oh yeah, found out today that devyn is quitting golf, so now i'm the only white girl on the team...not sure how i feel about that yet, but i have a feeling i'm not gonna like it very much, sadly.

cars

today was one of the best days in the past couple of weeks
i slept in late
my mom and brother left for catalina island for a week
and i went car shopping with my dad for four hours at cerritos auto mall
then japanese for dinner
talked to talia
walked my dog
rented a movie (seven pounds was good!!!)
and now i'm here
super little time on the computer today, which was good, exactly what i needed
i have a car for a week, which i'll take pretty much everywhere
good stuff
i like being independant and able to do things on my own
but at the same time, i like my dad and mom helping me do stuff like drive me places

on a random tangent, im super excited for speech and debate, not so excited for golf, and somewhat excited for softball
excited for s&d because i want to experience as much success this year as i did last year. i've got new events that i tihnk i can do pretty well in, but i think the duo will be a failure, esp since we don't ahve much time to work on it this summer
not so excited for golf for a number of reasons...megan being gone is def. one of them. for me the whole team dynamic will change because of that. second is summer practices. i'll be missing two weeks and i think in those two weeks, a lot is going to change and i won't have control over it. third, i have a feeling a lot of people on the team don't like me very much and won't listen to my ideas...at least when megan was here i was able to talk to someone etc...now i'm not so sure...but christine lee is def. a cool person :)
somewhat excited for softball because i feel like half of my summer is gone already (which it isn't but still) and i haven't done anything...i want to make varsity and the only way to do that is by taking lessons and i'm not sure if my parents want to do that quite yet...
i seriously need to start on summer hw...seriously
maybe this week when i'm home...but i need to get away from the computer
turn it off, go somewhere else, something
all the computer does is remind me of things i don't need to be reminded of

drama

i spent my free time today
looking up dramatic scripts
nothing humorous, i wasn't in the mood
i wanted dramatic, something that could make me cry
i found a really good one
actually, a few
but i would never be allowed to buy them
i don't think my duo is going to work out
we spent $30 buying scripts
but i found this great one for a guy and a girl online today
like AMAZING script and it would be perfect
but oh well, i can't really do much
i reconnected with a friend from s&d camp last year
we barely knew each other
but speech and debate brought us so much closer
its a funny thing speech and debate
and i'm really really happy i joined
we're kind of like a family
i mean we are all so close...to me it IS a second family
i want to throw myself into speech and debate this year
i want to be the best i can be
which means getting my sorry ass off of the computer 24/7
and it means i need to stop wallowing in self pity
which is harder than it sounds
i hate where i am socially right now
but if i immerse myself in something, then i can improve
and maybe redeem myself
i can't believe i was looking forward to summer
so far, summer has sucked.
i hope it gets better
and if not then i always have camp to look foward to in august
and to that mysterious person who commented before, can i know who you are? pleeease? :)
i had a nice convo with 'the person' today...
they sorta was the one to make me realize i needa get over it because it IS stupid
i hope i get to talk to them more soon
yeah it still hurts, and i hate being excluded more than anything
but if that's how they wanna go, then i guess i can (sorta) deal with it
i'm almost ashamed of these posts
i know i'll delete them eventually
but i think im almost desperate for someone to read the posts and try to make me feel better

emotions running extremely high

i went to pick my brother up from camp today
ok i lied
this post really isn't about my day
at all actually
it's going to be a 2 part post i think
the first part starts now
and it's goign to be a rant
about how hurt and disappointed i am
over something so ridiculous
that it almost doesn't even make sense
but regardless i actually think the 2 parts are goign to end up blending
it all started with a status message on facebook
for the white people of 2011 to check emails
and of course i didn't get one
and there are only 10 white people in my grade level
do you know how much it HURTS to get excluded like that?
and to not have anyone care?
it's PAINFULLY obvious that i wasn't 'invited' into your 'exclusive club' to your 'exclusive activity'
and its PAINFULLY obvious that you don't care
but i don't think anyone can fully understand how much it hurts me
someone tried to understand
but she's involved
it's bad enough having one of my best friends be involved in it
but then getting her to sympathize with me is worse
because there's nothing she can do
nothign anyone can do
and i hate how no one cares enough about me
or about my feelings
to try to break down the mask
its funny
i took a facebook quiz the other day
about what kind of mask you wear
my result:
strength
and it's true
i always put on that 'i'm a big girl i can take care of myself' face
when in reality i'm looking for that one person
who pushed back
who tells me i can't do it on my own
and breaks down that mask
who cares enough to try
but no one
ever
has tried
i give them the 'i'm okay' speech
and they accept it
even though i'm pretty sure they KNOW i'm not okay
i think that's why i lose friends so easily
because i'm too self-contained
i think i can do it all myself and i'm always there for everyone else
and that's another thing
i always make other people feel better
i sometimes get a 'thanks' and sometimes people realize that i helped them
but rarely do people acknowledge me being there for them as a friend
and sometimes i wish they would
and if you're reading this it's too late
there have been plenty of instances in the past...
like when i got another friend to talk to a friend who we thought was suicidal
or when i talked through a situation taht involved two of my good friends and was able to (sort of) give them both advice (though i think i sorta lost on that one XD)
but anyway besides the point
i hate being excluded
it happened in elementary school too
but when i got to OA
it stopped magically
and now...here we go again
and even if somehow magically the coordinator invited me to join
idk if i would accept
just the fact that i wasn't invited in the first place
though it makes me laugh...all the places she found for lessons
were super crazy expensive
but i found one that was literally $5 per lesson
the cheapest one she found was $10 ;D
i wanted to cry tonight
literally
that's how worked up i was over this
and i know it's stupid
but i couldn't help it
it sucks
i thought i was friends with them
i guess this proves otherwise
and it sucks
it really does
but the only thing i can do is blog about it
which doesn't make me feel better like it usually does
i wish the coordinator would confront me
we talked about it at school
and she didn't care
whcih sucks
but now she had the audacity to post something on facebook
even though she knows only 10 2011 white people
and all 10 of us have facebook
thanks i appreciate that
way to ruin my night
i wish i could get another opinion
maybe i will tomorrow
if the person i'm thinking of signs on
we'll see though
i doubt it
and i doubt the person would care
they think i'm 'annoying'
and maybe i am with all of my crying
and moping
and emo-ness
but can't i have a little time
without my great wall of china
without my berlin wall
without my brick fence
holding in all of my emotions?
can't i find that one person that will care?
i deserve to find someone that will listen without judging me
and i sincerely hope i can find them soon

i feel...

...appreciated
...nervous
...scared
...excited
...angry
...anxious
isn't it weird how you can feel so many different ways at once? and i feel all those emotions becuase of different events that either already occured or that are going to happen...its weird to keep them all inside of me...i really wish someone would be able to understand it all...but i know that if i told someone everything i'd probably end up losing them as a friend XD
one thing though...very glad for one (extremely) blond girl...it's always fun to talk to her...and she's the only one that i would (contemplate) telling a lot of stuff to...
i hate crazy taxi...sorry that was random
i'm really tired
i love pandora...its super cool...
and ive just spent the last 2ish hrs looking at formal dresses...just for fun :)
i really like wednesdays...i have a pattern...sleep in really late then get up, get ready, don't eat anything, go to starbucks, then go to bingo
and bingo is really fun
like really
idk why i think it's the people...and even though there were people there today that i REALLY dislike (coughkylercough) there are cool people...we forgot a deck of cards today but we still managed to have fun...amazing :)
i'm already looking forward to next week...only 6 days away ;)
speaking of next week...i start calc ab classes on monday...super exciting -_-
but at least i'll get to go to calc bc next year...so i guess it'l be worth it...i'm gonna be super happy not to have to be in a class with people in my own grade...as long as i get cool people :) i'm hoping to have noor in my class again...(:
i have a HUGE bugbite on the back of my neck...no idea how it got there...but it ITCHES super badly...which was once again really random
sorry like i said i'm super tired
so many people are getting facebooks...i spent the afternoon talking to my best friend from elementary school who i rarely talk to now and a girl who just a year ago hated my guts (i hated hers too) but we made up this year and now she's one of my good friends...
its funny how much can change in the course of a year...people i didn't talk to i now talk to a LOT more...people i used to talk to...i never talk to anymore...or they just don't want me to 'help' them, basically meaning...'don't talk to me' which kinda sux but i guess i have to be okay with it
i noticed that in my blogs i've been doing this lately
i'm still super amazed how much actually changed this year
its truly crazy...like i'm still trying to grasp what all happened
i feel like I personally became a different person
with different goals, motives, and interests
and soon...well...i guess you'll have to wait for the 'soon' part ;)
i havent told anyone my summer plan so don't feel bad :) (though heathers i bet you could guess it...if i'd let you XD)
i have to make this blog super long
so if youthough i was just rambling...

...i am...
hehe ok i just wanted to do that XD
but anyway...it's kind of calming blogging right before bed...let's me reflect on the day, see what was good, what was bad...and just kinda lay my thoughts out there...
even though i know no one actually reads it...
just makes me feel a little better i guess
though sometimes it makes me feel worse
like how i didn't talk to someone today
or how i forgot to send out the golf email...again...whcih is really starting to get me behind on stuff
or how i didn't do any apush hw AGAIN today
or any hw for that matter
or how i didn't practice flute today...wiat...i lied i did XD
or how i didn't put my laundry away like my mom asked XD
but i did drive home from bingo...whcih was fun
and pulled into the garage, which my parents almsot never let me do xD
and how we made 200 dollars at bingo tonight...in profits ALONE!!!
and how i really want to go shopping XD
and how excited i am that i get a car all to myself next week and i can basically do ANYTHING i want with it (except crash it XD)
and how i talked to my neighbor that just left for ny to camp xDD
but overall i think today was a good day
and tomorrow i have 6-8 hrs in the car (depending on traffic) do to summer hw...yippee! -_-
and now my pandora station is talking about debt
so i think i'm going to bed now
g'nite!

its 3 in the morning

yeah...basically the title says it all...i stayed up reading books
typical
and i have to get up at 7
wonderful
i didn't go on facebook very much today and i'm really proud of that...though i didn't do any schoolwork either
i WILL do apush hw tomorrow...goal is to have that part of summer hw done by...saturday
that gives me...4 days...one day per chapter...yippee
but i've been really good about practicing flute...i practiced for over an hr yesterday and today which makes me really happy
it might sound weird, but when i don't play, i get kinda sad, but i won't go into details
for some odd reason i'm really looking forward to bingo :) it was fun last week and as long as that one dude (remember no names? ;D) doesn't show up then i'll be okay XD
people really need to get their s&d forms into me for summer camp...less than a week left and i only have like...10 returning members...if even that many...its weird...but then again...we're oxford kids and procrastination is in our blood XP
i'm really tired...talking to my neighbor who leaves for camp for 2 weeks though...she gets to go to NY which i am totally jealous of...but its an orthodox jewish camp...so no jeans and girls have to wear skirts and long sleeves...and did i mention no boys? yeah i would hate that but anyway now im just kinda rambling...so i'm going to sleep!
g'nite!

annoying?

so as i'm lying here on the floor in my guest room with pandora playing as softly as possible (but loud enough so i can still hear over the click clack of my keyboard XD) i think about the day, like always...some interesting stuff today
starting with the most obvious...the reason why i'm downstairs on the hard carpet instead of in my nice bed...my bathroom's getting redone...which is totally exciting...but can't help but envy my brother who is at camp away from all the mayhem
revised my expos a little...chocolate is delish ;)
and went with heather to regal to see up!!! it really was as good as everyone said it was!!! loved every second of it!!!
came home...sat around and did nothing...which sucked...had a conversation with someone that got me thinking...this someone called me annoying
i'm pretty sure it was all in fun and games...but at the same time...i couldn't help but wonder if i actually WAS annoying most of teh time...i know its a weird thing to wonder...but sometimes i think about first impressions and how important they are...did i make the wrong impression on one of the people i def. did not want to do that with? and even though i'm very certain you wont be reading this...i'll be asking for clarification anyway :) i hate thinking i'd have to change for you...and i wouldn't...but i think i'd be really disappointed...especially since someone's been trying to set us up for a good 2 1/2 or 3 yrs now XP
i just discovered pandora i really like it!
the floor is really uncomfortable....hey! its 1212 XDD
ok now im being random and scatterbrained b/c im tired and uncomfortable and thinking
so anyway...so glad i'm not taking SAT classes but i think there will be more of that in tomorrow's post XD
but for now...g'nite!

father's day

today was a good day!
i got to spend basically all day with my daddy :)
went to temple like a good jewish girl this morning
then i drove the van for the first time and picked up chairs at my grandparent's house for when everyone came over later
and my dad surprised me and told me to drive to harden honda! yay! we looked at cars...and i'm pretty sure i'm gonna want a honda civic...it was really interesting listening to the sales people try to give us a good deal on the car xD
i can not WAIT to get myself a nice new/certified preowned (but new to me)car!
then we came back home and my family came over to celebrate father's day...i love it when my whole family comes over...we're always laughing and having a good time...and as cliche as it sounds, the best part really is spending time with them...its just plain fun

i'm getting my bathroom redone tomorrow...exciting stuff!
might go watch a movie...but i still need someone to go with (considering heather might not be able to go XP) and i guess if not i can always take the car and go by myself...but that is NO fun at ALL!!! :(
maybe i'll call up that special someone hahahahaha as if HE'd wanna go see a movie with ME yeah right
but anyway i need to get started on summer hw...no procrastinating this summer...HAHA yeah right...i can already feel my braincells dying from lack of doing anything...how sad
i've literally been on facebook most of the time...which in my opinion is really boring...i hate crazy taxi, and all theother games
ugh
i can't wait for math class (as sad as that sounds) and speech and debate camp to start up...and i am actually looking forward to working at bingo...it's actually fun :)
i'm looking forward to this week in general...i feel good things starting to happen
so anyway, this is where i leave ya...
once again...i really don't expect anyone to ever get this far...even though tonight's not that long of a post compared to the others XD
idk i actually like reading people's posts...makes me feel a little closer to them...but maybe that's just me...so anyway
adios, hasta luego, aurevuor, and all those other ways to say good bye ;)

"take this sinking boat and point it home
we've still got time
raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice
you've made it known"
--falling slowly

i just want...

...someone to talk to...
i thought i had found someone
but i haven't talked to them since that one night
which kinda sux
i wrote a draft of my expos today...made me wanna eat chocolate :)
not really looking forward to doing duo
and i can not WAIT to get out of here to go to my stanford camp...best thing that will happen all summer
i've been feeling kind of lonely and sad lately
i wish i could hang out with people, but no one ever seems to be available...or i'm not available (meaning my parents wont let me)
i'm not suppossed to be on the computer now...so i'm gonna make this a short post and leave it here

"In dreams and in love there are no impossibilities."
--Janos Arnay

crazy taxi

i hate that game...just thought i'd document that
anyway...summer's been boring so far
i slept till 2 on wednesday, but stayed up till 5 this morning...so i madeup for it with only four hours of sleep last night
worked at bingo yesterday...actually pretty fun...SO GLAD kyler didn't show up...i think i would have killed myself if he had
today...cali got a bath...and some time warner cable dude came over and was hookiing up my wireless internet for mayors techscholar and he thought i was 18...i was in sweats and a sweatshirt and my hair was thrown into a ponytail cuz i had JUST woken up xDD
and then later thisa fternoon i went to baseball academy with bro...he's pretty dang good...and lucky me i get some lessons next week too :)
came home and didn't do much of anything
i REALLY want to go watchUP! but i have no one to go with :(
i was invited to go with tracey and the others today but i dont have a RIDE!!! i can not WAIT TILL I GET MY CAR!!! FREEDOM!!!
have i mentioned yet thati hate crazy taxi?
i think i have to go play some more XP
g'nite!

impossibilities

today was full of impossibilities
first off...we're JUNIORS!!!
class of '09 graduated today...and megan was nice to me...fancy that XD
my parents actually let me go to the bonfire
and actually weren't mad when i didn't get home till 1130...even though it ended at 10 XD (but dude it was SO MUCH FUN!!!)
most impossible thing...i'm not sure if i'm still falling for the same guy...i dont think it had anything to do with today actually...but there might be someone else...i'm not sure yet...so i'll let all of my (limited...if any) readers know what happens ;)
so yeah...school's out for summer! woohoo!!! oh and saw ms. sizer today!!! YEAH! she's still my favorite teacher ;D
but now im super tired and my feet hurt REALLY bad! so i'm going to bed :)

memories

i know the 8 peoplefollowing my blog pry hate me for posting everyday...but quite honestly i don't care at all
but anyway...ACT today...lame...but easier than SAT for SURE!!! though science was friggin hard! haha oh well it's done and over with...and at least i saw noor at the testing center :)
ROCSTOCK was SUPER fun too...2 hr drive to lucerne dry lake bed, then five fun-filled hours of rocket launching! some of teh rockets were really cool...added a new goal to my list: get level 1 certification! :)
i think i hurt my arm though playing catch with a softball with daniel and alex cuz i was throwing into the wind and to compensate for loss of distance i had to throw harder...so my arm hurts XD
i ate marshmallows for dinner :) and played some weird war game with alex and daniel on the ipod touch on the way back home...
but i think the most memorable part of today wasn't rocstock, though it was CRAZY fun!
first off, i'm going to apologize to heather...i gave into temptation...and i'm really glad i did
i read my inserts today...even though i wasn't suppossed to read them until tuesday
and i have to thank my friends SO MUCH! you guys made me laugh, every single one of you...whether it was spelling a word wrong (good job tracey ;D) or writing a super silly story (yes, i laughed so hard i cried angie ;D) or just remembering something funny that we did together (spanglish does look like spaghetti if you look hard enough heather ;D) or repairing a lost friendship (i'm really glad too maggy ;D)just reading the inserts brightened my already bright day
and i know that whenever i feel that no one cares or something emo-ish like that...i'm pretty sure anyone of my friends would be able to cheer my up...some more than others but that's okay :)
and only one made me really cry (sorry angie not you xD) and that was megan's...dang it i'm gonna miss her SO MUCH...which i've already written on here multiple times...but i've held off reading hers...and i read it last tonight...and wow yeah it's gonna be hard not seeing her/talking to her all the time...and same goes for all the seniors...its the one thing i hate about the end of the year is saying good-bye. it's gonna be hard this year, i made a lot of close friendships with the seniors...but it's gonna be even harder next year with the juniors becuase i know so many more...and then i don't know what i'm gonna do when we graduate...i'll be excited, sure, but at the same time, we spent 6 long years at oxford together, and i just hope that when we are all seniors, we don't forget about each other, have class reunions and remember the good times we had together...
that's what i love about the inserts...i can go back, each year, every other year, whenever and just read them...i read my 7th grade inserts the other day...and i still laughed at some of the comments (you rock like the stone age--we were such funny little seventh graders XD)
but with two days left of school, a late start miniday and a mini day, less than one full school day...it's getting harder to accept that the seniors (esp. megan, my older sis ;D) aren't gonna be with us for that much longer...they're moving on to bigger, better things and leaving us behind...i jsut hope that they won't forget about us...and ya know...there's another senior that i've been neglecting...and i don't think he'll appreciate me putting his name in here...but i think he knows who he is...but thanks for everything...and i'm seriously gonna miss our weird/deep convos...you really helped me get over some tough times
gosh...now i'm all depressed right before going to bed...that is SO not good...so let's see...what am i doing tomorrow? sleeping in until hopefully at least 10, then ANGELS GAME!!! woot diamond club! nice! and after bluebird blog...and homework...JUST KIDDING!!! WE HAVE NO HOMEWORK!!! that alone is enough to brighten my mood...
i know that i for one have already given into the mood of summer...i am not looking forward to the last two days of school...teary eyed good-byes and empty 'see you over summer' promises...i wish there was no such thing as good-bye...seems so final and serious...

goodness

so i didn't think it was possible
but today was better than yesterday
two amazing days in a row...yeah not normally possible
i didn't have to go to school today until 8...good stuff...so i woke up early...545 to do an insert for megan...took me two hours to do!!! and then to sign raveena's which didn't take nearly as long (sorry but megan's my older jewish sister so ya know :D)
cluster/rally was okay...the rally was pretty cool, but spencer was still pissed off and in a really bad mood...
euro was AMAZING!!! Schindler's list is SO GOOD!!! love that movie, but so sad at the same time! we got our essays back too, A- baby! yeah! meaning i get to keep an A in euro!
then health was decent...kinda did bad on the quiz, but won a giant chocolate bar! (thanks esther!) XD signed a ton of yearbooks...good stuff
and of course, being a minimum day, it was even more fun! i had to hang out at school cuz it was the 8th grade barbeeque (wow how exactly do you spell that?) so maggy and i went to subway and dairy queen and kinda just hung out...it was a good way to spend the afternoon :)
then i came home and played catch with my bro, even though a got nailed in the foot with a baseball...it hurt SOOOO BAD!!! (still does actually) but i think it's getting better
after i took a short nap :D
then brother's court of honor...super long ceremony, but in general it was pretty good, including decent food ;)
came home and my dad found his letterman's jacket from high school! spirit of 76 hahahaha he looked so funny in it...but he still fit in it! XD
and i talked to my cuz tonight who was filming for a month on route 66 for a new NBC show...soudns like he had an amazing time and i'm glad he decided to talk to me cuz its been foreeeeever!
AND! zangle brings more good news! math final...the FRQs were soooo hard...but i ACED them!!! wooooooohooooo!!! means i keep an A in math! and english final..i FAILED...like seroiusly...but my grade only went down .1% which is crazy...
and tomorrow i go rocket launching...and take the ACT...i was super excited for rocket launching...but then my friend cancelled on me...which is really sad for me cuz now i really dont have anything to do on the car ride there/back...but it's her call and she didn't wanna go so i guess that's ok...
my secret summer plan is well underway...not making much progress at the moment, but i have a game plan ;) bet you're dying to know huh? XD
ok one last thing before i sleep...REALLY early on a friday night...i exchanged inserts with megan today...and i won't read her's until tuesday...but the last line caught my eye..."I love you so much, so don't think of this as a good-bye, think of it as a see you soon" it made me cry...i'm going to miss megan more than i think anyone can really understand...she was like an older sister to me and i hope that that sticks with us, even though she's going off to college...so if you read this megs...i love ya! <3
now enough for the sappy stuff...i only have to hold out 4 more days until i can read inserts...idk if i can wait that long! but i am really gonna try
i really really don't wanna take the ACT tomorrow...but wish me luck anyway...suppossedly it's easier than the SAT so that's good :)
but anyway, i should go to bed and rest up anyway...gonna have a late night tomorrow
but i'll end with some random reflective thoughts
i hate how towards teh end of the year, maybe 4th quarter and beyond, you meet and become friends with people that have been in your classes/at school all year...but you don't talk to them until the end of the year...because then its summer...and people go away and don't talk to school friends that much over summer...so its like you're starting all over again in the fall...i have a lot of friends like that this year...some (heather, kailynne, hayden?) i know i'll talk to over summer because of various activities me or my brother are doing...but others...it's gonna be interesting...this is the first year i've really cared about that...so yeah...bedtime now...(:

a good day..for the most part

i think i've refound the reason why i started this blog in the first place...for me i guess its kind of like a journal because hardly anyone reads this...so i can sort of jsut vent my feelings (though i still have to sensor some stuff XD)
but this blog will focus ONLY on today because it was one heck of an amazing day (for the most part XD)
okay so starts off in cluster...i love cluster...the wonderful senior lauren dandridge brought me a TON of calculus review stuff...love seniors...so useful :) but spencer was in a HORRIBLE mood...she shouldn't have marked us down on portfolio stuff...she should have known we would complain...we're tenth graders that's what we do xD
then i went to math...final...bleh! i thought it was gonna be hard...and the free response WAS!!! but the MCQ!!! 96%!!! HECK YES!!!
chem was okay...i hate free periods in chem because nothing happend..but we watched planet earth and that was pretty good :)
lunch was actually good...i hung out and signed yearbooks with my junior friends and didn't get to eat lunch XD
then euro...i got an award...basically the cupcake award hahha
and we FINALLY STARTED SCHINDLER'S LIST! (my grandfather hated that movie because it was so close to what he actually lived through...=/)
and at the end of the day, health...i presented today...not bad at ALL...i mean i wasn't nervous in the least, but i was sick so my voice sounded like crap...and people participated in my game so that was cool enough xD
end of the day...went home...have to remember to clean out p.e. locker tomorrow XDD
daniel got a haircut whcih was funny...he looks a lot better though
and when i got home i made brownies...mom bought the wrong stuff...but it worked and they turned out good...which is all that matters :)
after, my mom made my FAVORITE dinner...teriyaki beef stir-fry!!! SO GOOD!!! and we went to the baseball academy so my brother could get assessed...
it was prety interesting...but DUDE my bro is SO GOOD AT PITCHING esp. cnosidering he never pitched before! (and i might get some free catcher's gear out of the deal XD) which reminds me...need to ask clifton tomorrow if i can borrow the catcher's gear for teh summer because i want to practice/take lessons :) goal: try to be a varsity catcher next year! hard i know...but hey...a girl can dream =)
came home, watched sytycd (YAY!) and planned after graduation plans for tuesday...should be pretty fun...though its turning into a 'non-orchestra' people party too...wihch i dont mind SO much...though i wish all the orch. people could have gone XP but oh well...doesn't matter
now im up late, in bed, not signing yearbooks like i should be doing...
i still have to sign raveena's and make meg's insert which might take me awhile XD
oh and study for health...which i'm assuming i'm gonna bomb anyway so why bother XP
oh well though its all good
but im like falling asleep in bed with my computer on my lap, so i'm gonna sleep now :)
this is a much shorterpost than usual XD

the good, the bad, and the ugly

so, its another list night i fear
but it's more of a reflective over the course of the entire year type of list...or multiple lists i think
so to start: firsts for the 08-09 school year (at least one from each class)
--ran under 9 min mile, first time ever!
--played badminton in p.e...very cool :)
--learned how to write a DBQ/FRQ and successfully got at least one 8 on both!
--learned firsts bits of useless calculus
--student of the year in business...counts as first business award ever :)
--the whole year in chem was fun...first time performing labs with chemicals? haha idk for that one
--espanol...hablo espanol...well..spoke next to no spanish this year XD
--piccolo all year in orchestra...or shoul di say weapon of mass destruction?
--first timei shared m picc with anyone
--first time i didn't get a single A on an essay all year (this might seem like a bad thing, but you'd be surprised xD)

Not so goods of this year:
--yeah p.e. this year didn't really get us into shape hahaha
--watched a movie about cavemen...enough said XP
--didn't learn much of ANYTHING in precalc...i hate to say bad stuff about teachers in public places...but this yr in precalc was pretty bad
--why do i care that carcin-(o) means cancer?
--lectures were pointless in che...super boring too
--spanish class was mostly spoken in english XP
--flute drama
--i don't feel like i learned ANYTHING in english this year

ok so moving on, this is goingto be a strictly academic post, about the academic year ONLY!!! (persoanl post will be...tomorrow??? XD)
overall, this year sucked...looking back on last year, i really appreciate my teachers, erickson, morrissey, even hale, and ESPECIALLY SIZER!!! dude i miss sizer so much! one of the best math teachers ever!!! i just feel like this year, i got somewhat slighted...euro was okay, but i hate history and the subject matter was boring...math was horrible, teacher, homework, subject matter, the class itself was just BAD
business was good...quite honestly i thin it was one of my fav. classes this year...from the cultural diversity project to the business plan, even though i was stressed out the entire time, i learned a lot about business and actually liked it....it helped that hale loved me XD
--health...the best part i think was the ethical debates...and only cuz i went up against judy..."it's not in the euro text book so it didn't exist: haha i love you judy <3
--chem was okay..like i like chem...that's why i'm taking ap chem next year...(gah! no talking about people in class!) butr regarding subject, the only thing i really remember is the cooking project, which didn't TEACH me anything XP
--spanish 3..loved ramirez as a teacher...so funny, nice, knowldegeable...but the class consisted of a LOT of busy work...like why do i care about death personified as a person? i liked it this year, and a definite improvement over last year, but stilli'm glad i'm not taking it next year!
--orchestra...my personal favorite class that lasted the entire year...picc is fun and i like playing it :), mine and kelley's solo rocked at the end of the year..but i could really do without the drama...and hopefully i get onto music council for next year :)
--english...oh boy...i can't really say much because i didn't really learn much...usually i have a negative attitude about english and history because they are so subjective...like there COULD be a rubric, great, but either way, when it comes down to it, the teacher is the one grading it...if she doesn't like you then you could be 'missing a counterargument' or something else extremely rediculous...but oh well...hopefully next year i'll get my amazing cluster teacher mrs. spancer....i don't think she realizese how much i want her next year XD

ya know...i purposely make my posts super long so that no one reads to the end, because the end is usually where i'm reallly tired and dont' feel like making sense, so i write the most heartfelt, random stuff ever XD
so i applaud youif you read to the end, but agasin, question you as to why?
like does anyone care so much as to read blog posts? or myabe it's not that they care (because i doubt anyuone cares about me that much) but because thyere bored? procrastinating? done with finals?
whatever the reason, i hope that the one special person who i seem to be talking about a lot now, will read my blog...doesn't have to be this one, or the next one, but eventually he'll care enough about me to read my blogs all the way to the end and put up withthem :)
ok now i think i'm starting to scare myself...i really should be asleep or studying for math...so i'll go now :)
thanks if you actually read all the way down here :)

randomness again xD

as im lying here, in bed, with my laptop, i realized a few things:
1) im starting more lists
2) the lists pry wont last very long
3) i failed to study for my english final tomorrow (which means im totally screwed and wont be able to drive inthe morning)
4) im sick and that sux
5) i hate drama with a passion...i always turn out being teh bad guy and i hate that
6) as much as i hated 10th grade, im kinda scared for teh summer because idk if the friendships i made toward teh end of the year will last
7) its late, im tired and sick, but at the same time, curious
8) i got a bunch of points taken off on portfolio, which makes me mad
9) there are a LOT of people going out for golf next year (not so sure how that makes me feel...i kinda like the smaller, intimate team...and im REALLY gonna miss megan!!! like REALLY REALLY gonna miss her!)
10) flute drama is more intense than any other drama because we are smarter than other instruments and therefore can use our intellect in arguments ;)
11) im excited that my bro wants to play baseball next year...means i can practice with him (batting coach oh yeah!) and condition (running/weights) will be at easier access...who knows maybe i'll become better at softball :)
12) i hate lists
13) but i keep making them anyway
14) i really should be asleep right now because i'm sick...asleep or studying
15) i really really like this guy...it's almost impossible for me to ever be with him...*sigh* i guess i can only keep trying...but it sucks knowing its pretty much in vain...but like i told mi amiga...he's almost perfect :)
16) if anyone reads this far...go check out the bluebird blog! oc-bluebirds.blogspot.com!
17) i really want to get to 20 things on this list or more XD
18) i'm excited to learn to fence over the summer...been a LIFELONG dream of mine ever since i saw parent traop with lindsy lohan LOLs
19) i wonder what car i should get over summer...cuz i am FOR SURE getting a car tHIS SUMMER!!! god knows i'll need it :)
20) (yay number 20!) so its 1049 and i can't stop thinking about summer and how much i'm slacking in school, this guy, rocstock, yearbooks!, orchestra etc.
21) im going to keep making this list until i decide to go to bed
22) i hope we can get this gardenwalk graduation thing pulled together...i think it'l be really fun :)
23) my laptop is really really hot and making me more warm XD
24) i love the jrs! seriously without them, my life would be a lot more boring XD
25) i can't think of a number 25
26) i've been staring at this screen for 5 min trying to think of a number 26
27) i love cluster now with spencer and the people in my cluster
28) my favorite class this year was orchestra
29) i'm glad that even though it took me awhile, i found people that i can really confide in and talk to about basically anything
30) and probably the number one thing on ALL of our minds...only 6 more days till summer!!!
31) somewhere in there i have to make brownies and cupcakes :D

excuses

so its been a really really long time since i've posted anything...i went through and deleted everything on here except for 2 posts after i started a bluebird blog (which everyone should check out!)for my brother's boyscout project. my parents found out and i am not quite ready for them to know my 'deepest darkest secrets' ;)
but hey, who can blame me right?
a lot has happened in the past couple of months
i'll go back as far as i can remember (don't feel obligated at all to read the whole thing, trust me i know im not a very good writer and not very interesting lols)
and oh yeah it's not gonna be in any particular order
first: ap test, seems like such a long time ago...but it was just under a month ago...everyone says oh i think i failed blah blah blah...i'm pretty confident that i got at least a 3...but of course you can't tell anyone that b/c then it'l make it look likeyou're bragging and you'll just get called more names like nerd etc.
second: mayor's techscholar laptop...yupp im typing on it right now...the stupid s key is broken...barely works...i don't think ive ever owned a laptop where all the keys work at the same time...first laptop...g key broke, (got keyboard replaced) then the left hift key breaks, now this one the s key sux...sigh guess i cant really complain...got it free :)
third: i'm kinda done with numbering stuff so i'll just ramble on (mostly because i'm bored, sick, and really dont' wanna study for health)
i feel like lately i've been getting closer to people i would have never talked to in the beginning of the year and some of my closest friends all year are getting more distant...but then again i kinda felt like i didn't have a 'best friend' until the end of the year...
i'm more irritable now...though i was extremely irritable in the middle of the year too...something about not getting enough sleep and getting pissed off for stupid reasons
which the endof the year is not exception, i am currently pissed off for two reasons and maybe more...i will go into details because im pretty sure no one reading this will understand (if anyone reads it at all :D)
Pissed off reason #1: so in my grade at school there are exactly 5 white guys and 6 full white girls. And every year we have an international assembly where we see a concoction of asian and polynesian and indian dancers/inger/drummers etc. so back in so back in eighth grade (or maybe ninth) i had an idea to do a white dance...idk square dancing, swing dancing, hiphop, tap IDK anything, and becaue there were so few of us it eemed poible (sorry don't mind the lack of sssss)so i find out on friday that a white dance will happen enxt year, but it won't include me...the four white guys are partnering with four white girl and swing dancing...now don't get me wrong that's cool...but imo i would fit better with the group of people they chose...one of teh girl...idk if she even hang out with them...i love her dont get me wrong...but teh guy that she is suppossedly partnering with too...she hates...idk i guess by complaining in a blog no one will read im hoping that something miraculous will occur and i'll get to dance too...but according to one white girl...there aren't enough guys...yes that wa her excuse for not including me...it sux not to be included in something liek this...esp. since i sorta came up with the idea way back when...and it sux to know the real reaon: im apparently not cool enough...and that really really sux
pissed off reaon #2: (gah stupid key) i've been in orchestra at chool for awhile now...first year both me and christine were freshmen...didn't know what to expect...i played piccolo she didnt...luck of the draw, piccolo played 2nd flute so taht teh part i got...2nd flute...(yes this is a very very long explanation...but i've got nothing better to do anyway xD) and she got first...becasue 2nd was filled...taht's how its been for 2 yrs now...her first me second/piccolo...and me and kelley finally saw our break when the only sr from our ection is a first flute and is graduating this yr...logical choice for ection leader...kelley my lovely stand partner...which means logically i'd play first with her...that' just how it goes...and i mean its not like either of us is a bad player..in fact i think were #1 and #2 in our section of flutes...we had already started adopting the firt part role...we played first together in prarie song at our spring show...neither of us wanted to play the solo alone, so we played it together...and BAM! perfectly in tune, something rachel and chritine had never accomplished...(and when i say perfect...i mean PERFECT!) so kelley and i take first part on graduation music...funniest thing...christine asks kelley for brandenburg...can i play first flute on this one? i really like this song...and quite honestly...that' too bad...what if kelley and i really really liked ome other song we had to play 2nd on during teh year...we couldn't turn to her and rachel and be like can we play first we really like this song...it doen't work that way! so christine goes to rachel and complains...and literally 5 min later when im in a group of friends talking about plan for grauduation day (to come later) rachel's all like...o katie i think you're gonna be palying 2nd flute next year...its only fair that since kelley's a senior she plays first, cindy doesn't mind playing second, and christine gets to paly first since she' played it before she also mention how picc plays 2nd part...and i look at her and ask if i have a choice...and in short she say no...liek its all set in stone...and i know im being selfish...but i can't except thi...chritine only paleyd first because she was rachel' standpartner, picc has its own part 99% of teh time, and kelley and i ALREADY know each other's tendencies, we can play in tune with each other, and plsu kelley being a sr. hould get to decide who she plays with...its her last year afterall...and plus rachel wont even be here next year...who is she to decide who plays what part? i've been waiting all weekend to talk to christine because im really hoping i dont have to talkt o miner about something this stupid, but if she doesn't sign on later tonight, i think i'm gonna have to...
i think though that if i have to play second next year, im gonna go to wind ensemble, where i know i can play first without a problem, maybe even be section leader...who knows...but i'd miss orchestra, the people, the music, and all the new friends that ive gotten to know a LOT better this year, mainly because of orchestra
but that's enough for reasons why im pissed off :)
ya know...i might not even post it...but i think i will...we'll see when i get to the end...
oh yeah CIF CHAMPIONS BABY!!! taht's right, baseball won CIF CHAMPIONSHIP friday for the first time in school history! it was SO AWESOME to get to watch everyone paly, and they all played great! but i lost my voice :( and now i'm sick :((
counting down the days till summer...this week should be pretty uneventful...yearbooks tuesday, englih final tuesday, math final thursday, rockstock on saturday (YAY!) along with the ACT (boo!) sunday angel's game in the diamond club! :) (need to remind dad to get all star game ticket for next year!) then graduation on tuesday of next week...and as far as i know...all of teh orch sophomores (minus a few) are going to teh gardenwalk to either watch a movie, eat, or go bowling :) i can't wait...perfect way to end the school year eventhough we have to play at stupid graduation
and then its' summer...so much going on but at teh same time nothing at all...got some goals for myself and some things i want to do...first off...learn to catch...i know that sounds stupid, but i wanna be a much better catcher next eyar than i was this year...and if my bro decides to play baseball next year (mental note to ask about summer baseball/practices etc...) i can have an excuse to go to the batting cages and improve like every aspect of my game...i really really wanna make varsity next year...
gonna learn to fence...been a long time goal of mine and i finally decided to do it this summer
also gonna go to agility classes with my pooch
volunteering at a vet clinic over teh summer (which should be really fun/interesting)
taking calc AB classes at school so i can be in calc bc next year (yes its stupid and i dont need to...but if it means an extra free class sr yr then im all for it!)
summer hw...ugh enough said (though i lsot my LAOW book so taht kinda sux)
and speech and debate camp (at stanford!) (and at oxford!) hahahah not exclamation but thats ok :D
oh and hopefully i'll get my car over summer...i'll def. need it!
and...most lofty goal...i'm not gonna write on here b/c there is a slim chance someone might read it...and im not quite ready to tell anyone yet (even heather ;D) though it comes in 2 parts XD
i've been writing this blog for almost an hr now....an hr in 4 min
lol so i'll keep writing...
i was looking at old year books today (long story..but basically my bro had my yb from last yr in hi room so i took it and started looking at it...then started looking at all the other ones too) but its really funny how people have changed and grown...who would ahve know that after a major-ish fight in 8th grade, that same person would be once again one of my good friends...who would have known taht some of my closest friends in 7th/8th grade are people i despise now...and who would have guessed where i was now? taht i stayed at oxford when so many other people have left...i'm sure we've lost at least 1/2 of our original 7th grade class, if not more...and the friends i have today, are truly amazing and i would hate to lsoe them, but tahts what i said 3 years ago too at the end of seventh grade...and who would have guessed 4 years ago at the start of seventh grade taht i'd spend an hour writing a blog? haha things have definitely changed...i've made friends, and i've made enemies...i've gotten to know people a lot better, had crushes and boyfriends, and pulled all nighters...and as much as we all hate oxford, it's changed us in more ways than one...who knows where i would be now if i had stayed at fairmont...but everything's different here...i'm no longer a straight a student, but i'm okay with that...i'm something more...i can call myself semi-athletic (yes that's right a varsity athelete hahaha), talented (almost 7 yrs of flute) smart (almost straight a's but over 4.0 gpa) and social (do i need to name all of my wonderful friends) all at the same time...
and i've realized...the best way to make new friends...

bake cupcakes ;)
<3